


Let me love you as much as I hate myself

by Sesshin



Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Super, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Explicit Sex, His name is Kasawa and he's a small gay nerd, I love Jiren okay don't @ me, M/M, OMC - Freeform, Size Difference, This started out as just PWP but whoops, he too gotdang big for him gotdang dick, no beta we die like Goku, porn and angst, pre-super, this is what happens when you dont research how to bang your tiny boyfriend properly, this takes place when Jiren is like...pffft idk but before the series, virgin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:26:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26493358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sesshin/pseuds/Sesshin
Summary: hoh boy, this was supposed to just be PWP but now there's angst. Jiren tries to bang his tiny boyfriend but theyre both dumb and don't research much!
Relationships: Jiren (Dragon Ball)/Original Male Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Let me love you as much as I hate myself

**Author's Note:**

> Nyello and welcome back to Isaac writes porn instead of doing anything productive! I've been super obsessed with Jiren since I saw Super and am grumpy there's not more fics of him so i'm taking matters into my own hands! Kasawa is an OC of mine who's going to one day be a pride trooper too c: He's a dark seagreen alien from a semi acquatic race and he's Dumb and Gay and I love him.
> 
> Written in a haze at 5am and not beta-read, but enjoy! Might update it at some point idk jgjgkjhg

"A...are you sure?" Kasawa panted softly, sitting atop Jirens lap. Rocking his hips, he shivered as felt the hard length beneath him, relishing in the strained grunt from his lover.

"Yes, I-I am sure…" Jiren ground out, flexing his fingers where they rested around the smaller mans waist, inwardly cursing at the shaky timbre in his voice. Taking in a sharp breath as he felt Kasawa roll his hips atop his straining, clothed erection, Jiren let his eyes close, groaning at the surprisingly strong pleasure the simple action gave him. He and Kasawa had gone no further than kissing and heavy petting, and while he was content enough with that, he could tell that his lover was eager for more. When he walked in on Kasawa impaling himself on a thick, purple toy, he’d initially been very confused, embarrassed, and surprisingly aroused. He also learned then that one doesn’t simply try to have a conversation with someone while they have a dildo balls deep inside of them.

“Shi-shit!” He heard Kasawa choke out, stilling himself, and letting his head thunk against Jirens broad shoulder, small body shivering, despite the warm, stuffy temperature in the room.

“Are you alright?” Jiren asked softly, moving a hand from Kasawas hip to rub gentle circles on his lower back. Kasawa chuckled weakly and nodded, puffs of air escaping him as he tried to calm himself.

“Y-yeah...just...got too excited…” He said, smiling sheepishly, as he pulled back to look up at Jiren. Despite sitting in the big grey aliens lap, he was still incredibly small against him, almost comically so, that initially had Kasawa worried if they’d be...compatible.

Jiren nodded after a moment, clearly unsure on whether he believed Kasawa to be being truthful. The blue-green skin of his lover was flushed even deeper than normal, the fins around his ears twitching every so often, seeming to match his heartbeat. His eyes however, had Jiren losing himself, as the normally seafoam green eyes were all but swallowed by the black of his pupils. He felt his heart swell as he watched Kasawa, staring into his dilated eyes, causing Kasawa to flush even deeper, earning a small smile from Jiren.

“You are beautiful, you know that?” Jiren whispered, leaning close to press his lips against Kasawas forehead, causing the smaller man to chuckle weakly.

“You’re entirely too much y'know?” Kasawa rhetorically asked, pausing his rocking to lean against Jirens chest, nuzzling against the thick cords of muscle in his neck, just inhaling the scent of plain soap, sweat, and musk that was solely his lover. 

“I love you.” He whispered against Jirens throat, pressing tender kisses, and nipping along the spots he knew were particularly sensitive. He heard his lover exhale sharply, body tensing, and cock throbbing beneath Kasawa as he teased the sharp points of his teeth down to the juncture of Jirens shoulder.

“A-and I you.” Jiren rasped out, gasping quietly when Kasawa sunk his teeth deeper into the thick, grey flesh. He repeated the action, moaning around the flesh between his teeth as Jiren resumed his grip around Kasawas waist, going so far as to grind up into him. Kasawa cried out in surprise at Jirens boldness, usually a far more passive lover, his claws scrambling for purchase against Jirens shoulders as he felt the clothed cock rub insistently against his ass.

Jiren tossed his head back at the sudden spike of pleasure he felt, grinding up into Kasawa, panting openly as he continued rutting against the smaller man, cock throbbing with the noises Kasawa was making.

“Kami Kasa…! You feel incredible!” Jiren panted out, grip tightening around his waist as he felt a familiar coil of pleasure tighten in his abdomen. He could stay like this forever and be content, just rutting desperately against the mewling man in his lap.

“J-Jiren wait!” Kasawa cried out, causing the grey alien to immediately stop moving, eyes flying open and filled with concern.

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” Jiren asked worried, scanning Kasawas face as he waited for an answer. He’d accidentally hurt his lover a few times, and while he knew Kasawa didn’t blame him for his near ungodly strength, Jiren would be lying if he said it wasn’t a constant fear any time they tried anything new.

He watched Kasawa give a breathtaking smile that had Jirens heart speeding up in his chest as he simply shook his head, running a clawed hand through the messy mop of teal hair atop his head.

“No-no, Jiren I’m fine, I promise, you didn’t hurt me.” Kasawa patiently spoke, cupping Jirens face and pressing a loving to kiss to his forehead. He felt Jiren move a hand from his waist to mimic the action, Jirens hand almost as big as the side of his head as he rested it against Kasawas cheek. Leaning into Jirens hand, Kasawa hummed softly, his breathing slowly calming, before he cracked an eye open, smiling mischievously.

“I only had you stop because uh...ah...I was...close” He said sheepishly, watching Jirens expression go from concerned to smug rapidly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

Jiren nodded, knowing Kasawa wouldn’t lie to him about /that., before looking confused as Kasawa lifted himself off of Jirens lap, just a bit unsteady on his feet. Jiren would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed, pressing his palm against his throbbing erection with a soft exhale, trying to will it away. 

“Hey hey, we’re not done big guy!” Kasawa huffed out, swatting at Jirens hand lightly, before moving to undo his tented shorts, only stopping when Jirens hand covered his own, having just undone the top button on them. They’d seen each other naked several times, though mostly in non sexual situations, and Kasawa flushed a deep green as he watched Jiren continue sliding down the zipper around the bulge, groaning weakly as his slick, green cock sprang free, already dripping with precum and throbbing. Kasawa closed his eyes as Jiren ran his thumb in gentle circles around the jut of his hip bone, before making an undignified noise as he was abruptly lifted and moved to lay prone on the bed, staring up at the big black eyes of his lover. Suddenly finding himself nervous, he simply flashed a weak smile.

“Hey.” He softly said, cheeks dark green and hot.

“Hey yourself.” Jiren quipped back, causing Kasawa to snort, slowly relaxing as Jiren slid down his body, pressing tender kisses down the smaller mans chest. Kasawas breath quickened when Jiren pressed a slow kiss right above the puffy slit his cock was unsheathed from, said cock pulsing, desperate for attention.

“You will tell me if I hurt you.” Jiren said, rather than asked in a tone that brokered no discussion, but was still husky with desire as he met Kasawas gaze. The intensity in Jirens eyes rendered Kasawa speechless, the small alien only able to swallow and give a quick nod. They’d never done this before, and he watched, enraptured as Jiren wrapped a massive hand around his cock, dwarfing and almost completely closing around his cock, drawing a sharp cry from Kasawa.

“F-fuck!” was torn from Kasawas throat as he arched hard off the bed, hand fisting in the thin sheets beneath them. He felt Jiren pause, adjusting before slowly sliding his hand along Kasawas pre-slickened length, the small man ever grateful for his bodys biology. Wet noises, and mewling moans filled the air as Jiren slowly pumped the cock in his hand, watching his lover thrash beneath him, ever vigilant for any signs of pain.

“F...Faster…” Kasawa whispered, shoving his hand against his teeth as Jiren complied, trying to stifle the loud noises he was making. His eyes flew open when he felt Jirens hand still and move away, going to cup Kasawas cheek once more with the hand not at his cock.

“None of that. I want to hear you, want to hear every noise you make.” Jiren rumbled out, almost near a growl, causing Kasawas cock to jump and his breath to hitch.

“O-okay…” he lamely said, brain unable to think of anything else as most of the blood was anywhere else. Jiren nodded sternly, going back to the task literally at hand as he wrapped his hand back around Kasawas cock, drawing another moan from him. He kept his pace slow, rather enjoying watching Kasawa squirm and whimper beneath him, before his eyes widened a bit as Kasawa thrust his hips up, desperate for more.

“J...Jiren, /please/” Kasawa begged, body trembling all over, looking at him with nearly black eyes, and causing Jirens heart to stutter once more. Jiren paused for a moment, before sliding off the bed and standing, leaving Kasawa whimpering in confusion, only stopping when Jiren held up a hand, slippery and shiny from Kasawas cock. Kasawa watched as Jiren made quick work of his athletic shorts, dropping them to the floor with a soft woosh.

“I...I would like to have intercourse with you now…” Jiren said, voice low and rich with arousal, despite his clinical speech. Kasawa tore his gaze away from the thick, leaking, purple-grey cock standing at attention from between Jirens thighs. Blinking a few times, Kasawas eyes trailed up to Jirens face, the big man trying to not look as worried as Kasawa had no doubt he was feeling.

“Y...yeah...I’d l-like that.” Was all his brain supplied before watching Jiren climb back onto the bed, hovering over Kasawas prone form.

“What...what do I need to do?” Jiren asked, moving to kneel between Kasawas spread legs, running his dry hand along Kasawas inner thigh, causing the small man to shiver at the touch.

“We...Well, there’s a few things, but uh...first, I need to be prepared…” He said, pausing, before continuing at Jirens evident confusion. “I uh...you’re...your’re really big...er, your cock is I mean.” Kasawa explained, leaning up on his elbows, eyes going from Jirens lap to his face.

“My cock lubricates itself, but my uh...ass, doesn’t. Some people use their fingers, some use toys, and s-some people use uh...their tongues..” He nearly squeaked out, tearing his eyes away as his cheeks flushed deeply.

“Tongues?” Jiren prodded curiously, complete with a comical, yet adorable tilt of his head, eyes locked onto Kasawas face as he nodded, continuing his explanation.

“Y..yeah, its uhm...It can be really erotic, and i’ve heard it feels really good if done right.”

Jirens gaze never wavered as he mulled over the new information, suddenly moving to grab Kasawas thighs, pulling his lovers body up to him, all but eye level with the swell of Kasawas ass, ignoring the surprised squawk his action earned him.

“J-Jiren! What are yo-AH!” Kasawa cried out sharply, feeling Jiren slowly run his tongue along the curve of his ass, right where his thighs began, pausing to press a kiss to the underside of Kasawas swollen slit. He didn’t stop as his lovers shrill moans went straight to his cock, kneading the toned flesh in his hands.

“I want to taste every bit of you.” He murmured hungrily against Kasawas sensitive skin, gently prying apart Kasawas cheeks to stare at the trembling skin of his exposed hole. Kasawa mewled, grasping for purchase beneath him and finding none as he was almost pulled completely off the bed, only his shoulders remaining against the black silk as Jiren leaned closer, giving his hole a curious lick, holding Kasawas thighs as he thrashed in his hold, moaning desperately. 

“J-Jiren! Wait!” Kasawa whimpered, trying and failing to get comfortable at the angle. “P...put me on my hands and knees, it’ll be easier” He panted out, trembling as he was lowered back to the bed.

“Was that unsatisfactory?” Jiren asked, concern written along his features, before Kasawa shook his head emphatically.

“N-no! Not at all, fuck, Jiren, it was incredible. I didn’t expect you to take charge like that.” Kasawa admitted, rolling to his belly and pushing himself up on unsteady limbs. Jiren watched him, nodding after a moment.

“Did you find it enjoyable then? Me, taking control I mean.” He asked, watching as Kasawa looked back over his shoulder, nodding again. “Yeah...its uh...kind of a fantasy of mine.” He admitted with a shy grin, causing Jiren to smirk once more, his hand going to palm the globe of Kasawas ass.

“Yeah?” He asked, just a bit smugly, dragging Kasawa to the edge of the bed, dropping to kneel on the floor for a better angle, once more inwardly cursing his large stature. His lover opened his mouth to agree before whimpering as he felt Jirens lips back against his skin, kissing down his lower back, stopping at the cleft of his ass. 

“I...will admit, it is a fantasy of mine as well…” Jiren said against his skin, his words going straight to Kasawas cock at his admission, knocking the breath out of him, with an audible "o-oh!" Smirking slightly, Jiren gently kneaded the soft flesh of his lovers ass, prying his cheeks apart once more, running a broad, thick finger against the small, puckered hole, cock throbbing at the noise Kasawa made as he did. In the back of his mind, Jiren pondered if his cock would actually fit inside of him, a concern he’d had more than once whenever Kasawa got excited. Shaking the doubt from his mind, Jiren pressed closer, grip tight as he kept Kasawa spread beneath him, slowly licking a long stripe over his hole, drawing another keening cry from him. Kasawa whimpered as Jiren repeated the action, unable to buck back at the grip Jiren had on his ass, the feeling of Jirens thick, flat tongue near indescribable. Managing to balance on one hand, Kasawa moved his free one to wrap around his cock, squeezing once before an almost feral growl from Jiren stopped him, the vibrations against his sensitive skin making his eyes flutter closed.

“You will not touch yourself until I am done with you.” Jiren commanded, pulling back just enough to watch Kasawa nod weakly, dropping his hand back to the bed, groaning as he pressed his face against the sheets, his body on fire. Once he was sure Kasawa would not move again, Jiren dove back in, pressing his tongue against his pucker, as Kasawa keened beneath him. Giving his hole a few more test licks, Jiren shivered and closed his eyes as he let himself relax into the action, lapping hungrily against his lovers entrance. He barely noticed his hips snapping forward against the bed, groaning quietly against Kasawas spasming hole. 

“J...Jiren! I’m...i’m close” Kasawas voice shaky and dripping with need as he tried to grind back against Jirens tongue, unable to contain his desperate moans and shaking limbs, his head swimming with pleasure. He felt rather than heard Jiren growl against him again, distantly recognizing the thumping noise as Jiren being unable to control himself, hips rutting against their mattress. The thought of Jiren losing himself to the action of pleasuring him was enough to send him over the edge, stars exploding behind his eyes as he screamed, cock spilling rope after rope of cum beneath him, painting the sheets and his chest as he collapsed, Jirens name becoming a mantra on his tongue.

Jiren felt a primal snarl build in him, chest swelling with pride and dominance at reducing his lover to little more than a trembling, boneless puddle. Not stopping his action, he gripped Kasawas ass tighter, spearing him with his tongue as his body went lax, allowing Jiren to taste him properly for the first time. Knowing he was the first (and only) person who would get to do this with and to Kasawa had him thrusting his tongue deeper inside him, lapping hungrily and sucking hard at the fluttering skin of his hole, only pulling back to wrap a hand around his own cock, squeezing his eyes shut with a grunt to keep from coming. He’d never come that close to coming untouched before, breathing labored and hard as he forced himself to calm, Kasawas scent and taste flooding his senses.

“Fuck!” He growled out, wincing at the pain of forcibly holding back his own orgasm, blunt nails digging deeper into the swell of Kasawas ass, pulling a weak whimper from the smaller man, before Jiren had enough presence of mind to pull his hand away, not missing the way Kasawa wiggled impatiently at the loss of touch, and collapsed at the lack of support holding him up.

“Sorry! I’m...im sorry.” He panted out, closing his eyes as the pleasure in his gut slowly receded enough to where he could think properly, struggling to stand, and swaying just a bit as he looked over Kasawas body, trembling and shiny with a thin layer of sweat. His eyes zeroed in on the deep green-blue hand shaped bruise forming on either side of his ass, guilt rapidly replacing any arousal he was feeling, ghosting a finger around them.

“I...Kami Kasawa I...I’m sorry, I just, I lost control, you just tasted so good, and the noises you were making I-” the words spilled out of him before he could stop them, moving a hand to cover his mouth in shame and shock, only tearing his gaze away when Kasawa shoved himself onto his back, scrambling to pull Jiren close.

“Hey hey its okay! It’s okay I promise!” He said quickly, trying to assure the big man, who was now trembling in a way Kasawa was sure wasn’t from pleasure. Pushing himself up onto his knees, he grabbed Jirens face, forcing him to meet Kasawas gaze, his big black eyes filled with remorse.

“You didn’t do anything to me that I didn’t want you to. Understand?” Kasawa spoke firmly, rubbing the pads of his thumbs against the skin of Jirens cheek.

“But, but I…” Kasawa stopped him with a stern shake of his head.

“Jiren, Jiren i don’t mind the pain. It doesn’t even really hurt. I don’t want you to treat me like I'm porcelain. I can handle it, and I need you to trust that i’ll tell you if I can’t...okay?” He finished quietly, gaze softening as he pressed a swift kiss to Jirens nose. Kasawa waited until he heard Jiren breathe out a sigh, shoulders slumping as he nodded, bringing a hand up to cover Kisawas own.

“Of...of course, I’m so-”

“If you apologize again so help me Kami, you will not cum for a month.” He warned, the threat enough to make Jirens jaw snap back shut. Kasawa snickered, peppering his face with kisses, before pulling back, a warm smile on his face.

“You know i’d never actually do that. I do understand though, and I don’t fault you for your fear.” He assured softly, one of his hands leaving Jirens face to rest over his pounding heart.

“I love you, and I love /all/ of you, crazy strength and all. If it would help you rest easier though, I can take the lead this time.” Kasawa watched as Jiren relaxed more and nodded, moving to sit at the head of the bed, watching Kasawa with an amount of admiration and love that had the smaller man flushing, his slit swelling with blood as his cock began emerging once more. Moving to climb back onto his lovers lap, Kasawa settled on his knees above Jirens cock, resting his hands on the bigger mans shoulders.

“Are you ready?’ Kasawa asked, trying to swallow down his nerves, as Jiren cock an eyebrow ridge at him, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” He teased, a rare laugh escaping him as Kasawa swatted at his chest.

“Don’t need your sass mister.” Kasawa huffed out, wrapping a hand around Jirens thick cock, silencing the bigger man with a startled gasp. He gently squeezed and stroked the semi-hard length back to full mast, Jirens fear having caused his cock to wilt a bit, though it wasn’t long before he was squirming in Kasawas grip, full and leaking pre cum once more.

Kasawa pressed his lips to Jirens in a slow, loving kiss, swallowing down the moan he was rewarded with as he squeezed the thick, leaking head of Jirens cock, lining up his entrance with the swollen length. Keeping his hands firmly fisted in the sheets, Jiren watched as Kasawa ground his spit slicked hole against the tip of his cock, fighting against the desire to thrust, as his breathing became more labored. Kasawa worried his lip between his teeth as he slowly forced the tip inside him, breathing hard through his nose as he rocked his hips, trying to relax his body.

“Ka...Kasawa if it’s too mu-AH! Jirens eyes widened, his mouth falling open in a startled gasp as he felt the head of his cock slip inside the vice like grip of Kasawas hole, pulling another whimper from the smaller man, face scrunched in a mix of discomfort and pain as his body stretched against the intrusion. He’d never had anything so big and solid inside him, his brain short circuiting at the fullness and pain.

“O-oh, oh Kami, oh fuck…” Kasawa panted out, groaning weakly as he felt Jirens heartbeat through his cock, mouth hanging open as slowly rolled his hips.

“Kasa...Kami, you’re so tight! You...you feel so /hot/ around me…” He grit out, head thunking back against their headboard as he struggled to stay still. Whimpering from the surprisingly lewd words coming from his lover, Kasawa felt his cock throb, fully free from its internal sheath. Kasawa counted to 10 before forcing Jirens cock deeper inside him, eyes squeezing shut at the sheer burning stretch of his girth, clawing at Jirens shoulder with the hand not steading Jirens cock beneath him. Slowly rolling his hips, Kasawa began slowly bouncing up and down on the length inside him, trying to will his body to relax, grunting and gritting his teeth as he set an unsteady pace. 

“K..Kasawa, don’t...dont strain yourself…” Jiren rasped out, watching his lovers face with growing concern, eyes widening at a barely audible whimper of pain.

“I-I can do this, I can do this…!” Kasawa repeated to himself, clinging to Jiren as another inch slid inside him, biting his lip bloody as the burn intensified.

“Kas...Kasawa stop! You’re bleedin-”

“I know! I know, I know, I know, just wait!” Kasawa begged, voice cracking a bit as doubt began welling up in his stomach. He wanted this, he wanted this so badly, he wanted to make Jiren lose himself with pleasure, wanted Jiren to fill him up with his cum, and fuck him on every vaguely horizontal surface in their home. He had taken more beatings at the hands of criminals and vagabonds than he could remember. Had gotten the shit knocked out of him several times at the academy by officers stronger and better than him. He could do this!

Wait why was he moving-

His eyes snapped open as he felt Jirens hands come to wrap around his waist, moving to lift him up.

“Jiren no wait!-” He tried to get out, before a scream tore its way out of his chest, as Jiren pulled him off of his cock, the pain blinding him as his world went white for all the wrong reasons.

“KASA!” Jirens broken yell filled the room as he laid his spasming lover down, eyes unable to leave the agonized expression on Kasawas face, locking onto the tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes.

“Fuck fuck FUCK!” He choked out, pulling back, afraid to touch him any further, lest he hurt Kasawa more. His heart thundered in his chest. He knew this was a bad idea! He was too big, too rough, too out of control, and now he’d gone too far. Who knew how badly he’d hurt his small lover, panting hard on the bed? He should have known better!

Lost in an internal verbal beating of himself, he didn’t see Kasawa slowly push himself up, pawing at him with a weak, needy voice.

“Jiren...Jiren /please//, I need you to listen to me-” He started to say, fingers only grazing Jirens arm, before the grey alien pulled back with a roar,

“NO! I KNEW this was a horrible idea, I knew I would hurt you!” He rasped out, stepping back, unable to meet Kasawas concerned and alarmed gaze any further.

“Jiren, Jiren it’s not that biga de-”

“YOU’RE /BLEEDING!/” Jiren all but screamed, trying to drive his point home, motioning to the crimson liquid staining Kasawas thighs, that Kasawa hadn't even noticed yet. Whole body shaking harder than it ever had before, Jiren took another step back, back slamming into the door, hard enough to make the wood creak from the force, just another reminder of Jirens cumbersome size. Kasawas eyes widened when he saw Jirens hand go for the handle.

“Don’t you da-”

“I’m sorry.” was all Kasawa heard, before with surprising speed, Jiren disappeared out the door, leaving Kasawa alone, and bleeding in their bed, staring blankly at the door where his shaken lover was standing just moments before. Kasawa didn’t blink, or even breath until he heard their front door slam, barely registering the tears slip down over his cheeks.

“Fuck.”


End file.
